On Self-Trust

Trust Yourself – You Already Have All the Answers!

Trust Yourself You Already Have All The Answers

10th August 2015

By Nanice Ellis

Contributing Writer for Wake Up World

If I could give you just one piece of advice, it would be, “Trust Yourself.” Stop looking outside for the answers. Stop looking to others to tell you how to live your life – or to hand you temporary solutions to problems that only came about because you did not trust yourself in the first place!

Trusting yourself should be the most natural thing to do, but it’s not. Our world is structured, in such a way, that everything tells us, “Whatever you do, don’t trust yourself.”

If you cannot trust yourself, you are powerless to make good choices, which often leads to making choices based on pressure or opinions of others. Even if they are well-intentioned, no one ever knows what is best for you, but you. If you spend a lifetime dis-trusting yourself and seeking external guidance, eventually you end up with a life that doesn’t suit you or make you happy. If you do not trust yourself, you are also likely to repress self-expression, ultimately leading to chronic complacency or even depression.

As a crisis outreach counselor for seven years and a spiritual life coach for almost twenty, I have noticed patterns, and the one pattern that shows up every single time is that depressed, confused and overwhelmed people do not trust themselves, and, in fact, are often immobilized out of fear of making the wrong choice.

But, it is not just people in crisis, it is virtually everyone! In fact, many of the issues that we face today are a result of not trusting ourselves and could be easily resolved by the Power of Self-trust.

Self-trust Has Been Brainwashed Out of Us. But Why?

Most of the world’s child raising standards revolve around teaching children to obey authority – including institutions of religion, education, medical, government and even media. Children are punished for questioning authority and thinking for themselves, while being rewarded for memorization and following the rules. This precise “formula” teaches children not to trust themselves. If you cannot think for yourself and you look to authority figures for answers, how can you ever trust yourself?

Children who don’t trust themselves grow up to be adults who also blindly depend on external sources for information, guidance, rules, laws and regulations – most of these external sources have their own hidden agendas which do not support the individual.

We have given our power away because we do not know how to look within for the answers.

Misdirected Trust in Outside Sources?

Maybe humanity is in crisis, not because we have been mindlessly trusting institutions that have their own best interests at heart, but rather because we are not trusting ourselves! If we really trusted ourselves and we looked within for the answers, we would not give our power to any of these outside sources because we would be able to decipher the truth from the lies.

Trusting yourself activates an inner energetic switch that puts you in the driver’s seat, and allows you to be the conscious creator of your life.

I spent much of my life looking to others for the answers and not trusting myself, and as a result I racked up countless bad decisions, including failed marriages, great financial loss, and tons of issues that could have been easily avoided. But somehow, through it all, there was this inner-knowing that I had to find a way to trust myself despite what the world was telling me.

Knowing that this was the key, and despite evidence to the contrary, I made the conscious choice to trust myself above and beyond all else, and as I began to believe in myself, my choices improved and my life improved, and the more I believed in myself, the more I could trust myself. As I stepped fully into my power, clarity became the norm, and all the pieces of the puzzle fell into place. By believing in myself and trusting myself, even if I still made mistakes from time to time, I was granted access to a body of knowledge that continues to transform my life, and allows me to help others do the same.

Trust Yourself

There is an incredible power inside of you that can only be accessed through the power of self-trust.

You may not have anyone in your life saying, “Trust yourself,” but I am saying it to you now. This is the key that will allow you access to the control panel of your life. If you do not trust yourself, you are denied access. The mere act of trusting yourself activates your consciousness in such a way that your life becomes super-charged.

Yes, it might require a leap of faith. Like me, you might have a long list of reasons why you should never trust yourself – do it anyway, and keep doing it until you have a long list of reasons why you can trust yourself. The only way that you can ever trust yourself, is by trusting yourself.

What Does it Mean to Trust Yourself?

Your body and mind are priceless technology that will guide you every step of the way on your journey through life. Your body gives you energetic and emotional signals to show you which way to turn and even what to do. Your mind gives you inspiration, visions and ideas to pursue that are intended to guide you in the direction of your highest good. In order to trust yourself you must be in touch with this inner guidance system.

Your Inner Guidance System Holds the Answers

Your inner guidance system is a network of physical, intuitive and emotional information that speaks directly to you – through all your senses. Your senses feed you information so that you can make good conscious choices. You already trust your inner guidance system in many ways. For example, if you eat something that tastes rotten, you stop eating it. If you smell smoke, you check for fire. If you hear a cry, you look to see if someone needs help. If you touch a hot stove, you let go immediately.

Most of us unconditionally trust these everyday aspects of inner guidance, but higher levels of inner guidance are where we usually stop trusting ourselves. We don’t trust our sixth sense which is intuition nor do we trust our emotional senses. If you desire to take back your power, and reclaim your freedom to make conscious choices, these two elements of inner guidance are most essential.

When you understand how your inner guidance speaks through your emotional senses and your sixth sense, information can be as clear as knowing when to take your hand off a hot stove.

Emotional Guidance Technology

An integral aspect of your inner guidance system is the technology of emotions. Your emotions were given to you to experience life but emotions are also a system of inner guidance.

If you want to trust yourself, you must get in touch with your emotions, and you must feel. If you push down your emotions, you cut off your natural guidance, and as a result you cannot trust yourself.

If you have unhealed emotional issues, those issues can be easily triggered by everyday life – better known as emotional reactions. Emotional reactions are designed to protect you and keep you on guard, but emotional reactions are not good intuitive guides because they are tied to events and traumas in the past. Therefore, releasing pent-up and unhealed emotions is essential.

A high quality emotional guidance system is anchored firmly in the now, pulsating clear emotions that provide guidance that can direct your actions, aligning you with your purpose, path and passion.

Your Body Speaks

If you want to hear your inner guidance, you must get in your body where that guidance is available.

Our bodies always tell us when we are in the wrong job or an unhealthy relationship. Every bodily issue is a communication from your body – attempting to tell you something. When you don’t pay attention over a long period of time, small challenges in the body often turn into disease.

Your Body is Not a Tool - Love Your BodyIn order to get in your body, you must stop criticizing your body or judging your body in any way. You must love your body and listen to your body. The more you care for your body, the healthier your body will become and the more information and guidance it will provide.

You already know what to do to care for your body so I’m not going to tell you. If you are unsure, ask your body – this is the point.

The entire body is important but if you just started focusing on two areas, for most people it would be the heart and the gut.

Don’t Be Afraid to “Make Mistakes”

We often don’t trust ourselves because we are afraid of making mistakes, but it is a catch twenty-two because as long as you are afraid of making mistakes, you will not be able to trust yourself. And, in fact, the fear of making mistakes causes us to make more mistakes because we are not trusting ourselves – it is a vicious cycle, but one that you can overcome.

The point is to even trust your mistakes because you never know where a mistake might take you. There is higher guidance and a higher plan in everything we do, including the mistakes we make.

Let Go of What “The World Will Say”

It is impossible to trust yourself, if you are worried about “what the world will say,” be that family, friends or society.

How can you trust what you are perceiving, when you are filtering your perceptions through the minds of others? As long as you care more about the opinions of others than your own opinions, your inner guidance will go unnoticed by you.

If you alter your behavior in order to please others, or you want to be seen positively in their eyes, you have cut yourself off from your intrinsic wisdom and personalized guidance that comes from deep within.

In order to trust yourself, you must let go of the need to please others.

Forgo Comparison

You must drop comparison and stop comparing yourself to anyone at any time. Comparison keeps you trapped in the limitations of the collective. As long as you compare yourself to anyone, you cannot be in full control of your life. This includes competing with others for success and also pointing out that you are not the only one experiencing something. Every time you say, “other people do it, so I am not the only one, or others have it worse,” you are giving yourself an excuse not to listen to your inner guidance – and to stay stuck.

Eradicate Worry

Chronic worrying keeps you from accessing inner knowledge and trusting that knowledge, therefore, you must calm your mind and body of worry. Instead of focusing on what you do not want, focus your attention on what you do want. The opposite of worry is conscious creation.

Stop Getting Ahead of Yourself

Are You Going Faster Than the Speed of LifeIf you are constantly busy and running from one activity to another, you are likely moving faster than the speed of life. How can you trust yourself if you are moving too fast and getting ahead of yourself? Slow down! Be here now. Pay attention to what you are doing, and feeling.

By the way, stress is an indicator that you are not listening to your inner guidance.

Be Conscious

We are always told to be present, but “be present” to what exactly? There are uncountable things to be present to at any given moment. Instead of trying to be present, be conscious. Be conscious of your thoughts, emotions, and body sensations. The more conscious you are, the more you can access inner guidance.

Listen to Your Physical Energy

Your natural physical energy will always be an incredible guide. When we are going in a positive direction for ourselves, we always have an abundance of energy, even if something is challenging. If, however, we are going in the wrong direction, we often lack energy.

Follow Your Emotional Energy

Happiness is positive emotional energy – if you follow your joy, you will be following your inner guidance. Dread, stress and overwhelm are emotions that tell you that you are going the wrong way. Follow your joy and you will always be guided.

Quiet Your Mind

If you are trying to figure out solutions, the answers will not come to a mind that is not open or available to receiving information or inspiration. Answers come through a quiet mind. You cannot expect to access inner guidance when your mind is going a mile a minute or your mental energy is split.

Stop Depending on Spiritual Arts

There is nothing wrong with numerology, astrology or psychics, as long as you don’t give anyone or anything more power than you give yourself. We are talking about trusting yourself and your own guidance more than anything or anyone, including angels, guides and masters.

Teach Your Children

If you are a parent, teacher or care-giver, teach your children how to trust themselves.

What If I Am Just Making It Up?

Maybe you ask, “How do I know that I am receiving inner guidance and I am not making it up?” There is a very thin line between intuition and conscious creation. It is no accident that the third eye of intuition is also called the eye of imagination.

Trust Yourself You Already Have All The Answers - Making It UpWhen we receive an intuitive hit or vision, we are seeing one possible outcome or path. Your intuition is not telling you that this is the only path, or this is what you should do. Your intuition is simply showing you one possibility, based on your current trajectory, which is likely determined by your beliefs.

Nothing is set in stone until you believe it is. This is where your power lies. Not to decipher if something is true or not, but rather to determine if what you intuitively perceive supports you or not. If it does support you, then consciously give power to it, by choosing to believe it, but, if it doesn’t, let it go.

The question is not, “Is my inner guidance correct?”

The question is, “Does this path support me and does it feel good?”

So, yes, make it up – make it all up. This is how you consciously create your life through the power of imagination and the belief that you apply to your imagination. This is the pinnacle of trusting yourself.

You may not realize it right now, but everything is Make Believe – this means that your beliefs make up your reality, so why not consciously “make believe” a reality that is full of joy, peace, fun and abundance.

Trust the Process

We humans are very quick to jump to conclusions. As soon as something seems to be going astray we stop trusting the process. The thing is, life is tricky – often it seems like circumstances are taking us away from our destination when actually life is creating a more direct route. I know that it is difficult to trust the process when the process seems to be taking you in the “wrong direction,” but trust it anyway. If you release control, just a little bit, you might discover that just because things seem to be bat-crazy doesn’t mean they really are.

Here’s the Catch…

As much as you trust yourself, you must also trust the Universe. There is an All Knowing Power that is at work in all moments and at all times. This grand and infinite power runs the whole show – it orchestrates the rising of the sun, the birth of the stars, and even the perfect rhythm of your body – pumping your blood and controlling all the trillions of cells to do what they are supposed to do. If you only trust yourself without trusting the Universe, you miss the point, and if you only trust the Universe without trusting yourself, you cut off your power as conscious creator of your life.

In order to be a successful adventurer through the dimensions of creation, you must learn to really trust yourself and listen to your inner guidance, and you must also trust this Infinite Power to take you wherever you want to go.
In this beautiful co-creative dance with the Universe anything and everything is possible… Dream Big!

Free Mediation – Please join me in a short, but powerful, mediation designed to help you connect with your inner guidance. Go to http://www.nanice.com/meditatenow

from:     http://wakeup-world.com/2015/08/10/trust-yourself-you-already-have-all-the-answers/

Dealing with Worry

How to Stop Worrying: 9 Simple Habits


“Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength.”
Leo Buscaglia

“Worry often gives a small thing a big shadow.”
Swedish Proverb


It starts with a nagging thought.

That creates another few thoughts.

And before you know it there is a storm brewing in your mind, making you think irrationally and zapping your mental and physical energy.

Your old friend is back, creating chaos within.

I am no stranger to it either and to the powerful negative effects it can have on life and the happiness in it.

But in the last decade I have found several habits that have helped me to greatly decrease my worrying and to more easily handle such thoughts when they pop up.

1. Most of things you worry about have never happened.

I love this quote by Winston Churchill:

“When I look back on all these worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which had never happened.”

I have found it to be very true in my own life.

So when you feel worries starting to pop up ask yourself this:

How many of the things I feared would happen in my life did actually happen?

If you are anything like me then the answer will be: very few. And the very few ones that actually happened were mostly not as painful or terrible as I had expected.

Worries are most often just monsters you build in your own mind.

I find that asking myself this question regularly and reminding myself of how little of the worries that actually came to life makes easier and easier to stay calm and to stop a worried thought before it becomes a big snowball of negativity.

2. Avoid getting lost in vague fears.

When fears feel vague in your mind, when you lack clarity then it is very easy to get lost in exaggerated worries and disaster scenarios.

So find clarity in a worry-inducing situation by asking yourself:

Honestly and realistically, what is the worst that could happen?

When I have answered that question then I follow it up with spending a bit of time on figuring out what I can do about it if that pretty unlikely thing happens.

In my experience, the worst that could realistically happens is usually not as scary as what my mind could make up when it is running wild with vague fears.

Spending a few minutes on finding clarity in this way can save you whole lot of time, energy and suffering.

3. Don’t try to guess what is on someone’s mind.

Trying to read someone’s mind usually doesn’t work too well at all. Instead, it can very easily lead to creating an exaggerated and even disastrous scenario in your mind.

So choose a way that is less likely to lead to worries and misunderstandings.

Communicate and ask what you want to ask.

By doing so you’ll promote openness in your relationship and it will likely be happier as you avoid many unnecessary conflicts and negativity.

4. Say stop in a situation where you know you cannot think straight.

From time to time when I am hungry or when I am lying in bed and are about to go to sleep I can become mentally vulnerable. And so worries can more easily start buzzing around in my head.

In the past this often lead to many minutes of time that where no fun.

These days I have become better at catching such thoughts quickly and to say to myself:

No, no, we are not going to think about this now.

I then follow that up with saying this to myself:

I will think this situation or issue through at a time when I know that my mind will work much better.

Like when I have eaten. Or in the morning when I have gotten my sleep.

It takes some practice to apply this one consistently and effectively but it also makes a big difference in my life.

5. Remember, people don’t think about you and what you do as much as you may think.

They have their hands full with thinking about what other people think of them. And with thinking about what is closest to their hearts like their children, pets, a partner or the job or school.

So don’t get lost in worries about what people may think or say if you do something. Don’t let such thoughts hold you back in life.

6. Work out.

Few things work so well and consistently as working out to release inner tensions and to move out of a headspace that is extra vulnerable to worries.

I also find that working out – especially with free weights – makes me feel more decisive and focused.

So even though working out helps me to build a stronger body my main motivation to keep doing it is for the wonderful and predictable mental benefits.

7. Let your worry out into the light.

This is one of my favorites. Because it tends to work so well.

By letting your “big” worry out into the light and talking about it with someone close to you it becomes a whole lot easier to see the situation or issue for what it really is.

Just venting for a few minutes can make a big difference and after a while you may start to wonder what you were so worried about in the first place.

Sometimes the other person may only have to listen as you work through the situation yourself out loud.

At other times it can be very helpful to let the other person ground you and help you find a more practical and useful perspective on the situation at hand.

If you do not have anyone to talk to at the moment about the worry bouncing around in your mind then let it out by writing about it. Just getting it out of your head and reasoning about with yourself either on paper or in a journal on your computer can help you to calm down and find clarity.

8. Spend more time in the present moment.

When you spend too much time reliving the past in your mind then it easy to start feeding your worries about the future. When you spend too much time in the future then is also easy to get swept away by disaster scenarios.

So focus on spending more of your time and attention in the present moment.

Two of my favorite ways to reconnect with what is happening right now:

  • Slow down. Do whatever you are doing right now but do it slower. Move, talk, eat or ride your bicycle slower. By doing so you’ll become more aware of what is happening all around you right now.
  • Disrupt and reconnect. If you feel you are starting to worry then disrupt that thought by shouting this to yourself in your mind: STOP! Then reconnect with the present moment by taking just one or two minutes to focus to 100% on what is going on around you. Take it all in with all your senses. Feel it, see it, smell it, hear it and sense it on your skin.

9. Refocus on the small step you can take to move forward.

To move out the worried headspace I find it really, really helpful to just start moving and taking action to start solving or improving whatever I am concerned about.

So I ask myself:

What is one small step I can take right now to start improving this situation I am in?

Then I focus on just taking that small step forward. After that I find another small step and I take that one too.

Source: “How to Stop Worrying: 9 Simple Habits,” from positivityblog.com, by Henrik Edberg

– See more at: http://theunboundedspirit.com/how-to-stop-worrying-9-simple-habits/#sthash.LSXpUBHU.dpuf

Suggestions to Stop Procrastinating

How to Stop Procrastinating: 7 Timeless Tips

by Henrik Edberg

“Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the week.”
Spanish Proverb

“How soon ‘not now’ becomes ‘never’.”
Martin Luther

“A year from now you may wish you had started today.”
Karen Lamb

One of the most common problems is procrastination. We know what we want to do and should do. But still we end up spending hours upon hours doing “easier” work or escaping via TV, blogs or music.

Now, nothing wrong with a little escape from time to time. But if you procrastinate too much you will not get the most important things done. And you will also send yourself into negative spirals where your self-esteem plummets and you spend your days or more in a vague negative funk.

So what can you do? Here are 7 timeless tips to help you to stop procrastinating and start living your life more fully. And if you want to then you can learn much more about becoming more productive, focused and minimizing stress in my training kit The Art of Relaxed Productivity.

1. Stop thinking. Start doing.

“To think too long about doing a thing often becomes its undoing.”
Eva Young

A bit of planning can certainly help you to achieve what you want to achieve. A lot of planning and thinking tends to have the opposite effect.

You think and think and try to come up with “the perfect plan”. A plan where you don’t have to make mistakes, where you will never be rejected, where there will be no pain or difficulties. Such a thing does of course not exist. But as long as you work on that plan you can protect yourself.

2. Don’t blow a task out of proportion.

“If you want to make an easy job seem mighty hard, just keep putting off doing it.”
Olin Miller

”Putting off an easy thing makes it hard. Putting off a hard thing makes it impossible.”
George Claude Lorimer

By over thinking and putting things off you are not only trying to protect yourself from pain. You also make mountains out of molehills. The quotes above are so true it isn’t even funny. The more hours and days you put something off the worse it grows in your mind.

Because you are dwelling on it. And so it expands in your mind. And since you are putting it off you are probably thinking about it in a negative way. This makes a little thing a big Godzilla, a horrible beast that is threatening to ruin your life.

So plan a little and then take action.

Often you don’t even have to plan, you have been there before and you know what needs to be done. So stop thinking and just do it no matter how you feel and what you think. How you feel right now changes as quickly as the weather so it’s not the perfect guidance system or anything. And you don’t have to obey what it says (it’s not chains made of iron). You can just do what you know is right anyway.

3. Just take the first step.

“You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.”
Martin Luther King, Jr.

When you start to look too far into the future any task or project can seem close to impossible. And so you shut down because you become overwhelmed and start surfing the internet aimlessly instead. That is one of the reasons why it is good to plan for the future but then to shift your focus back to today and the present moment.

Then you just focus on taking the first step today. That is all you need to focus on, nothing else. By taking the first step you change you mental state from resistant to “hey, I’m doing this, cool”. You put yourself in state where you become more positive and open, a state where you may not be enthusiastic about taking the next step after this first one but you are at least accepting it. And so you can take the next step. And the next one after that.

The thing is, you can’t see the whole staircase anyway and it will shift and reveal itself along the way. That’s why the best of plans tend to fall apart at least a bit as you start to put it into action. You discover that your map of reality doesn’t look like reality.

4. Start with the hardest task of your day.

“Do the hard jobs first. The easy jobs will take care of themselves.”
Dale Carnegie

Maybe you have an important call to make that you also fear might be uncomfortable. Maybe you know you have gotten behind on answering your emails and have big pile to dig into. Maybe you have the last five pages of your paper to finish.

Whatever it may be, get it out of your way the first thing you do.

If you start your day this way you will feel relieved. You feel relaxed and good about yourself. And the rest of the day – and your to-do list – tends to feel a lot lighter and easier to move through. It’s amazing what difference this one action makes.

5. Just make a decision. Any decision.

“In a moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing to do, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.”
Theodore Roosevelt

We feel bad when we sit on our hands and don’t take action because it’s unnatural. The natural thing is to be a decisive human and take action.

When you procrastinate you want to do something but you don’t take the action that is in alignment with that thought. You become conflicted within.

What you do always sends signals back to you about who you are. Sure, doing affirmations where you say to yourself that you are confident can help you. But taking the confident actions you want to take over and over again is what really builds your self confidence and a self-image of you being a confident person. When you procrastinate you lower your self esteem and send signals back to yourself that you are a ,well, a kinda lame and indecisive person.

6. Face your fear.

“Procrastination is the fear of success. People procrastinate because they are afraid of the success that they know will result if they move ahead now. Because success is heavy, carries a responsibility with it, it is much easier to procrastinate and live on the “someday I’ll” philosophy.”
Denis Waitley

I think this is true. It’s easier to live on that “someday…” thought. It’s harder to just take action. To risk looking like a fool. To make mistakes, stumble and not avoid that pain. To take responsibility for your own life.

The easier choice can come with a sense of comfort, with a certain level of success, pangs of regret for all the things you never dared to do and a vague sense of being unfulfilled. You wonder about what would have happened if you had taken more action and more chances.

The harder choice gives you, well, who knows? But it will sure make your feel more alive.

7. Finish it.

“Nothing is so fatiguing as the eternal hanging on of an uncompleted task”
William James

“Much of the stress that people feel doesn’t come from having too much to do. It comes from not finishing what they started.”
David Allen

Not taking the first step to start accomplishing something can make you feel bad. But not finishing what you have started can also leave you in a sort of negative funk. You feel fatigued or stressed and sometimes you don’t even know why. It’s like someone zapped your inner power.

If that is the case, go over tasks and projects what you are currently involved in. Is there something there you know you want to finish but haven’t yet? Try to get that finished as soon as you can you will start to feel a whole lot better.

Just be careful. Don’t think you have to finish everything you started. If a book sucks, read something else. Using this as an excuse to quit something that feels hard or unfamiliar is not a good idea. But there is no law that says that everything has to be completed.

from:    http://www.positivityblog.com/index.php/2009/04/23/how-to-stop-procrastinating-7-timeless-tips/

Are You Suffering from Soul Loss?

20 Diagnostic Signs That You’re Suffering From “Soul Loss”

soul loss4th February 2014

By Lissa Rankin MD

Guest Writer for Wake Up World

Our entire culture suffers from what the shamans call “soul loss,” a loss of meaning, direction, vitality, mission, purpose, identity, and genuine connection; a deep unhappiness that most of us have come to consider as simply ordinary. The soul is our source of absolute uniqueness, a place within that connects you not only to your own value and essence, but to the value and essence of every other living being. What makes soul loss so subtle and dangerous is that very few people have realized that it has happened. Most of us do not know that we have disconnected from our soul and have come to accept as normal a numbness and lack of meaning in our lives.

Because we all belong to this culture, we all suffer from soul loss. Soul loss is epidemic and blinds us from seeing the potential for joy and wholeness in ordinary life. When you heal from soul loss, you see familiar things in new ways so you can increase your joy in what you already have.

Not sure if you’re suffering from soul loss?

Here are 20 diagnostic signs that signal soul loss:

1. You feel like you’re not as good as other people.

2. You yearn to be of service, but you have no idea what you have to contribute and why it matters.

3. You find yourself striving in vain for an impossible-to-achieve standard of perfection.

4. Your fears keep you from living large.

5. You’re frequently worried that you’re not good enough, smart enough, thin enough, young enough, [fill in the blank] enough.

6. You feel like a victim of circumstances that are beyond your control.

7. You feel like your daily life is meaningless and task-driven.

8. You often feel helpless, hopeless, or pessimistic.

9. You protect your heart with steel walls.

10. You often feel you don’t really matter and your love doesn’t make a difference.

11. You’re always trying to fit in and belong, but you rarely feel like you do.

12. You feel beaten down by the challenges you face in your life.

13. You suffer from a variety of vague, hard to treat physical symptoms, such as fatigue, chronic pain, weight gain or loss, insomnia, skin disorders, or gastrointestinal symptoms.

14. You struggle with being able to accept love and nurturing.

15. You feel depressed, anxious, or chronically worried.

16. You feel like you’re not appreciated enough.

17. You find yourself often judging others.

18. You frequently numb yourself with alcohol, drugs, sex, television, or excessive busyness.

19. You feel disappointed with life.

20. You’ve forgotten how to dream.

How Soul Loss Shows Up At The Doctor’s Office

As a physician, I’ve had years of experience diagnosing soul loss in my patients, but Western medicine has no framework for this kind of diagnosis, and as doctors, we’re not taught to treat this kind of suffering, so we wind up mistreating it. What people suffering from soul loss need is the deep medicine of reconnection with the soul, but in our culture, we tend to treat soul loss too superficially.

We treat the chronic pain with pain medication. We treat the insomnia with sleeping pills. We treat the weight issues with diet and exercise. And most damagingly, we may label soul loss as mental illness, such as depression, and cover up the symptoms with psychiatric medications that may make things worse by slapping a Band-aid on a wound that’s not healing underneath the bandage.

The Treatment You Really Need

Sometimes the soul needs space in order to heal, and this may require the courage to make some external changes in your life. Perhaps you need to switch careers in order to give the soul more room to breathe. Perhaps an unhealthy relationship is constricting the soul, and it’s time to get into therapy, set boundaries, or even end things. Perhaps you need to find more people to love or relocate to a place that helps your soul come alive.  Perhaps you need to give your soul permission to engage in more creative activities. Such eternal changes may be part of the prescription the inner doctor of your soul writes.

But very often, those kinds of major life overhauls are NOT NECESSARY!  Reconnecting to the soul allows you to find peace and happiness right where you are in ways that are much simpler and more profound than you might think. It can be astounding to discover that you’ve had what you needed all along and have been looking in all the wrong places. Perhaps all that is needed is to see the life you’re already living in a different way.

10 Ways Your Soul Guides You In Daily Life

If you’re suffering from soul loss, what can you do about it? The first step to healing from soul loss is learning to reconnect to the guidance of your soul. In order to help you, Kitchen Table Wisdom author Rachel Naomi Remen and I are offering a free teleclass 10 Ways Your Soul Guides You In Daily Life. We’ll be teaching you one surprising vehicle the soul uses to speak to you loud and clear, how to interpret not only the green lights that affirm your path, but the red lights that redirect you, a way to ensure that the people you surround yourself with reflect back to you the voice of your soul and not the voice of your fear, a tool for interpreting how your soul speaks to you via the body, the one feeling that is always your soul talking, and more…

from:    http://wakeup-world.com/2014/02/04/20-diagnostic-signs-that-youre-suffering-from-soul-loss/

Worry Busting Techniques

9 Scientifically-Backed Ways To Stop Worrying

The Huffington Post  |  By Posted: 10/01/2013 8:47 am EDT  |  Updated: 10/01/2013

stop worrying

Corrie ten Boom once said, “Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow. It empties today of its strength.”

Indeed, numerous studies have shown that worry not only puts a strain on our mental health, but on our physical health, too. While worry in and of itself is not bad — it spurs us into action, after all — too much of it can lead to anxiety, which can have a lasting impact on health and happiness. For instance, research has shown that anxiety can take a toll on sleep, tax your immune system, raise your risk of post-traumatic stress disorder, and even affect your risk of dying from disease.

The problem with worrying is that it becomes a cycle of self-perpetuating negative thoughts. In a new review, University of Surrey researchers described worry as “a chain of thoughts and images that are affectively negative and relatively uncontrollable.”

So what’s the best way to stop the cycle? We rounded up some research-backed ways:

Set aside a designated “worry time.”
Instead of worrying all day, every day, designate a 30-minute period of time where you can think about your problems. Penn State researchers found in a 2011 study that a four-step stimulus control program could help seriously stressed people take control of their anxieties, LiveScience reported. Step one: Identify the object of worry. Step two: Come up with a time and place to think about said worry. Step three: If you catch yourself worrying at a time other than your designated worry time, you must make a point to think of something else. Step four: Use your “worry time” productively by thinking of solutions to the worries.

Kick your online addiction.
unplug technology
All that time you spend perusing your Facebook newsfeed probably isn’t doing your mental health any favors. A recent study from Anxiety UK showed that nearly half of people feel “worried or uncomfortable” being away from email or Facebook. “These findings suggest that some may need to re-establish control over the technology they use, rather than being controlled by it,” Anxiety UK CEO Nicky Lidbetter said in a statement. Need some ideas for things to do away from your computer or cell phone? We’ve got you covered.

Be mindful.
The most effective strategies to stop worrying and rumination may be ones based in mindfulness, which involves nonjudgmental awareness of present thoughts and emotions, as well as cognitive behavioral therapy strategies, according to the University of Surrey review of 19 studies. Particularly, the review noted that “treatments in which participants are encouraged to change their thinking style, or to disengage from emotional response to rumination or worry,” as well as “treatments which enable participants to adopt more concrete and specific thinking or which cognitively restructure thinking in a more positive and constructive way” seem especially effective.

Accept the worry — and then move on.
Worrying about worrying is a dangerous cycle to fall into. A 2005 study in the journal Behaviour Research and Therapy showed that people who naturally try to suppress their unwanted thoughts end up being more distressed by said thoughts. Meanwhile, “those who are naturally more accepting of their intrusive thoughts are less obsessional, have lower levels of depression, and are less anxious,” the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee researchers wrote. Therefore, people who get caught up in worry when they try to force themselves to stop worrying may want to try a different strategy — acceptance.

Write your worries down.
Letting all your emotions out on paper before a big exam could help decrease test-taking worry, according to a 2011 study in Science. “It might be counterintuitive, but it’s almost as if you empty the fears out of your mind,” study researcher Sian Beilock, an associate professor in psychology at the University of Chicago, told U.S. News. “You reassess that situation so that you’re not as likely to worry about those situations because you’ve slain that beast.” While exams are no longer a threat to many of us, Beilock noted that the approach could work for people facing anxieties for other things.

Cut yourself some slack.
Dr. Susan M. Love, a professor at the David Geffen School of medicine at the University of California, Los Angeles, told The New York Times that the perceived need to follow all the rules when it comes to health can be a source of stress and worry in itself. Love, who wrote the book “Live a Little! Breaking the Rules Won’t Break Your Health” told The Times that at the end of the day, it’s impossible to have perfect health, and you’re probably a lot healthier than you realize. “Is the goal to live forever?” she said to The Times. “I would contend it’s not. It’s really to live as long as you can with the best quality of life you can. The problem was all of these women I kept meeting who were scared to death if they didn’t eat a cup of blueberries a day they would drop dead.”

Keep your hands busy.
Engaging in activities that keep your hands busy and mind distracted could help prevent flashbacks from traumatic experiences, according to research from the Medical Research Council in England. While the study didn’t examine how this strategy impacts everyday worry, the American Association for the Advancement of Science’s Bob Hirshon pointed out that “keeping your hands and mind busy interferes with storing and encoding visual images.”

Make time for meditation.
Taking some time to find some zen can really help anxiety in your brain — even brain scans say so. A study published earlier this year in the journal Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience showed that meditation training not only lower anxiety levels in people, but it also had effects on the anterior cingulate cortex and ventromedial prefrontal cortex brain regions (the former region controls emotions and thinking, the latter controls worrying).

Get your heart pumping.
Exercise may be a predictable way to beat stress, but it’s only predictable because it’s so effective. Research in animals, for instance, shows that exercise can affect brain activity of serotonin (a so-called “happy” brain chemical) as well as reduce the effects of oxidative stress, The New York Times reported. And Well and Good points out studies showing that exercise interventions can result in lower anxiety levels than people who stay tied to the couch. “Several studies have found the effects of aerobic exercise to be initially similar to those of medication,” Jeff Dolgan, an exercise physiologist at Canyon Ranch Hotel & Spa in Miami Beach, told Well and Good. “However, in the long term, exercise seems to work better.”

from:   http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/10/01/stop-worrying-anxiety-cycle_n_4002914.html?utm_hp_ref=gps-mindfulness-research

Dumping Stress

Kate Bratskeir

Associate Editor, Healthy Living

9 & 1/2 Things I’m Not Stressing Over Anymore

Posted: 03/15/2013 8:43 am

Something I find fascinating: You can literally throw away your negative thoughts. In a study done last November, participants were told write down their personal, invalidating beliefs on paper. Those who got to crumple their inner demons and dunk them a la NBA player Terrence Ross into a wastebasket (so maybe it wasn’t as dramatic, but I like to imagine) were less likely to be bogged down by their negativity.

Could the same be true for stressful thoughts?

As a GPS for the Soul editor — someone who reads, writes, Tweets and preaches about stress management all day — I have my own tools that work when stress rears its repugnant head. I know when it’s time to step away from the computer for a break. I’ve stored an arsenal of positive mantras if I’m ever in need of some uplifting perspective. All good. But this doesn’t mean I don’t stress.

So I wonder, could posting a blog on what I’ve resolved to no longer stress about diminish my worry, anxiety and — yes — stress? Once confronted and publically confessed, will the load be lifted (at least a little)?

Editors Sarah Klein, Meredith Melnick and Amanda Chan all did it, and while I’m guessing they’re not cured of stress, they’re lighter for it. Here’s my go:

9 ½ Stressors I’m Crumpling Up and Dumping in the Trash

1. Being A “Good” Dancer.
I will never be a good dancer. This is an objective statement. I don’t move like Jagger, I can’t get low, please don’t ask me to drop it like it’s hot. But rather than lean against the wall and stress, I’m just going to enjoy the music and embrace my inner Elaine.

2. Running Solo.
For me, running is meditative and peaceful. I love the feeling of my mind clearing out, and when I’m back at the door from my morning loop there’s this indescribable lightness that embodies my entire physicality.

Running only becomes stressful when other people enter the equation: Some (looking at you, sisters) persist that I sign up for races to get better, faster, stronger. The few I have completed took me out of the moment: I focused on my pace, the feet in front me and the legs I was able to count as I passed. It’s not serene, it’s competitive — and that’s not the spirit of my running.

And, to their vocal chagrin (I’m sorry!), running with friends makes me self-conscious: Am I running too fast? Do I run kind of weird? Should I be embarrassed for listening to “Climax” on repeat? When I run, I want to be by my lonesome, taking in the sights through my own lens, and feeling the endorphins surge.

I’m opting out of feeling obliged to join anyone — friend or opponent — on a run. And I’m saying “no thanks” without the guilt.

Which brings me to number 2 ½ …

2 ½. Still Running Solo.
I’ve never been one to suffer from FOMO. If anything, I suffer from FOMFTIA (that’s Fear of My Friends Thinking I’m Antisocial). I’m incredibly lucky to have such a loving pack who care to spend time with me, but there are moments, once again, that I prefer being on my own. And there lies the pressure — hence the stressor — of being cajoled to join in the fun. Here’s granting myself more permission to say “no” when an afternoon of reading a book, surfing the web (and being generally nerdy) or window shopping beats out the prospect of day-drinking by a landslide.

3. My Coffee Addiction.
Coffee has been described as a drug (aack!) that may raise your cholesterol, spike your blood pressure and lead to wide-awake nights.

And yet, coffee has been touted for its brilliance: It could lower the risk for depression, cancer and diabetes and it tastes like heaven (scientifically speaking).

So, whatever. The list of things I am not addicted to is a whole lot longer than the list of things to which I am. Science has a lot to work out about coffee, so in the meantime, just let me have this — jitters, shakes and all.

4. My Sense of Direction.
It’s bad, real bad. Once, on my four-hour trip home from college — upstate New York to Long Island — I ended up back at college … after four hours. Really. If I had a GPS surgically implanted it wouldn’t be the worst thing. And now in Manhattan, HopStop and I are in a semi-romantic relationship in lieu of a subway system that turns my brain inside-out. I used to stress about how I wouldn’t be able to get anywhere without technology. Now, instead of stress, I’m going to graciously accept all the help I can get.

5. Being Blind as a Bat.
Nearly every year, I get my eyes checked and my contact lens script raised. I have spent too much time being dramatic and upset over the possibility that I’ll one day not be able to see — realistically I know, it’s genetic, we are an appallingly near-sighted clan. From here on, I’m vowing to take in all the beauty that I have the privilege of looking at, and banking on that miraculous technology to fix my vision in the near future.

6. The Sentimental Things I’ve Lost.
My grandma’s turquoise pendant, that bracelet from an important boyfriend, a beloved, music-making stuffed animal — Lamby. The list goes on — items I’ve attached meaning to that are nowhere to be found. They weigh heavily on shelves inside my head. But as I’m regretting my careless misplacement of these things, I realize now, their memories — the meaningful parts — live right here, written down, typed up, catalogued in this very blog. Which means I haven’t lost these sentiments in the first place, and there’s not a reason to worry about all that’s unfound.

7. Pleasing Everyone at the Dinner Table.
In my experience, people treat vegetarians like strange, starving, picky burdens. I may be strange and picky, but starving I am most certainly not.

Others’ concerns for how I’ll navigate a restaurant menu (“We can’t go there,” “You won’t like this,” “Will this be enough for you?”) can no longer be of my concern.

Just a note: I’d do a jig for skirt steak salad with crumbled feta (sans skirt steak, please) and if it’s one of those bacon-and-brussels-sprout joints, I’m assertive enough to ask them to hold the pig. Don’t worry, people — be happy. I sure am, especially when I get the chance to dine out.

8. Keeping in Touch.
Facebook has done wonders for keeping us connected, to a certain degree. For me, the upset is the conspicuous reminder that I’ve done a poor job of keeping tabs — other than the ones lining my browser — on the many magnificent people who’ve come into my life. Instead of tossing and turning awake, mentally listing the check-up emails that I should be crafting, it’s been decided — here and now — that people float in and out of your life in waves at the times they’re meant to.

9. My Five-Year Plan.
I have plenty of friends who are on a five-year-track: They know just where they want to be and have a neat itinerary for when what will happen and how. Not me.

I’m not sure where I’ll land down the line, but when I hear people recite their life plans like roll call, or they cock their head at me in that way when I say “I dunno,” to what’s next, well, it stresses me out. I value the unknown and I won’t stress about it — I’m looking forward to good things. I’m optimistic (and almost certain) that my dreams are malleable and will mold and mesh with the times. So I’ll let them.

from;    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kate-bratskeir/stress-less_b_2862035.html?ref=topbar#slide=1624337